THE "NAME"

Today is 31/7 now the time is 8.02 pm...about 4 hours more July will bye bye to me and my STPM leave 2 month to prepare...TT

Back to the topic , today i heard name that quite long time no people call me...about 2 years(quite long la!!!><)...What name?..i think those who recognize me will know it...I'm quite sensitive with the word...very sensitive(still haven't say the word is what)..deng..deng ..deng ..is -----"AH GUA" or "AI KU BAO" and etc

Do i really look like ah gua to them?..to those who think i am..i do try to change and i do want to change and i do change already.....But why?why still have people call me with those name?Am i really look or act so? I tired to argue...Tired for all the thing that judging me ...like my friends say..if human can die without feel pain..she will be the one who want die ..

Maybe i can share story why i get those name...><"AH GUA" , "SISSY" , " AI KU BAO"...these name have accompany with me in my grow up process...

"AI KU BAO" this name i get from my mother side family member...erm,i still remember when i'm young and small..i use to use cry this action to look for solution.....i will cry when get scold..cry when no people play with me..time pass and pass...i stated feel or it do that i get boycott from my cousin....after a period of time..."AI KU BAO" have join into my life...now..the relationship between me and my cousin is something like the recognize but a stranger...(sad?)

"SISSY" and "AH GUA" this 2 name came from same story..(did my life full withe story?wakakak)...but the different of the 2 name is only timing...When i study in primary school, i often play with girl rather than boy..this is the only reason i get for those who call me with "SISSY"..but is that wrong for playing with girl ?..Who set the rule?..

When i already stun with the the "SISSY" AND "AI KU BAO" name..."AH GUA" this name start to join my life my world..This word is "hot' when i'm form 2 in secondary school...which i do think that i do act a bit na bed at that time..(BUT Only A bit..jek......my view la).

I still remember who is the one who call me with that name...or the gang..which is my brother friends and classmate...i have say that in the previous blog that i'm different compare to last time..when i'm form 2...to get friends i guess...i'm something like buy friends,perhaps?..i do always treat my "friends" to play in cyber cafe..i don't know how is they treat me?a friends?or only a cash machine?...

After go to form 3...i started to save money.....save cause find out something that make me like heart break..Review back to the work that i have done in the last time..i have to say.KEK KOK WAH U A SUCH A SILLY ,STUPID, BAI CHI !!!!!!!

That's apart the reason why i think i dun have good friends or best friends.....In the form 3 years,i started to pick and choose when be friends with other...calculate all the possible and factor...i be friends to those i think i can or i should...but..i'm not a good mathematics...hence. i fail ...fail to get the correct people or friends..

In this form 6...i want a change...I DEMAND MYSELF TO CHANGE....but why???why i feel treat in the same way as the previous years ?...is that i'm not doing good enough?...for leaving me behind already make me feel sad enough..why still have to listen to those word and name anymore...??why?..can someone answer me?or this is the question i need to search myself?

ERM.....have to stop keep express my feel already..tears is dropping..dunno is because the music effect..(haha)....Just want to say that SORRY to 2 of my friends which is YAN ZHENG and FION...sorry cause make u all "jump" into troublesome...forgive me A..><
Wish u (including me..hope u 2 don't mind)..get 4.0 or the mark u 2 want in the STPM^^...
KAM BA TEH