ALL on the edge..

Today is 1/11/2008...16 day more is my 1st day to sit for the STPM...Really shouldn't open computer but...now i'm lost my feel to study..So i take a chance to leave the study table and write blog then take a bath and study back..

All is going to the end but not my life(maybe)...Yesterday is my last time and day tuisyen at MR.POON....No more chance to heard he voice..good news?or bad?seems i'm so wanted to leave the room when tuisyen but now feel a bit lost and gone..

Friends all is doing the final "attack"..."fight until die" i think...STPM is a killer thing..kill people slowly but surely....yesterday i have a dream that i didn't take calculator for the exam..and...just wish it wont happen in the reality world..GOD PLEASE TAKE CARE ME..PLEASE~~~~

Sometimes i do recall my memory for my form 6 life...sweet, sour, spicy, and etc feel will show..haha..(did i really taste all?><)...Human shouldn't look backward..we have always believe there are a great future in front of us..but..
Nevermind...i will get use to it or i already prepare myself to face the situation..just wish it won't get worst than i though..

All will go to the good side...although sometimes it might hurt or sadness for me...i won't think of make a change or wish for something impossible...JUST believe all will be good...( i think u all won't understand what is the point i writing this blog..cause either me dunno.><)

Next Wednesday is the graduation day....KEK,don't think too much...kambateh ba..><(crazy already me^^.)
For form 6 friends:GAMBATEH AND DO THE BEST^^)

NOthing special~~~~

Today is 22/10/2208...more and more close to STPM..good signal or bad signal?><..

Skipping school seems to me a trend to me and my friends..What a good student we are..!!!!HAHA....

Such a long time did'nt blog already..then decided to online and blog then leave..^^.. So far so bad...my result is not good but got improve..just not enough,,either still have a long journey to go.. T_T..

Anything happen recently?..erm,still same perhaps..study and the time walk away..~~~~

Now really nothing to say and think...cause i have ask my brain to blok and prevent from thinking nonsense thing....must memorize all the formula and those reaction..aikz..such a poor life..haha..

This few day i have ask my friends what will make them to choose the course they will study in university or future...is because the interested or the salary?..so far..all give the answer is interested..and my answer is salary..haha.$$$$$$ is power and nothing but everything..><

The reason i choose salary cause i think interest can "dipupuk"..therefore i think salary is the major reason i will consider when i can study in the university..

Ia getting near and near to the graduation day..more near than the STPM date..nonsense..^^..Now it is really the very last minute and hours left for me and see my friends often and easy??haha..All will back to initial when the time reach..that what i sense..i think , ...

Although i will feel bad and unsafe (perhaps)..but it is the rule of living..me just have to deal with it..tears might flow in the heart but wont let it out from eyes... Cause ..haha..just don't want to destroyed my image^^..

Already 12.22pm..got to study already...wish me and all my friends all the best^^
P/S:sek cheng friends..Sure i didn't forget u^^haha..gambateh 1st..now cant find u to chat><

Hari RAya..

Today is 1/10/08...a new month for me and getting near and near to STPM..One more thing is HAppy Hari Raya to all malay..(although i'm prejedis to some malay,but only some><)

Today i have a dinner with my mom and brother at cow boy..Finally have fullfill my appetiecte for eat stik..But it have happen good thing and bad thing..The bad thing is when we eat almost finished , suddenly it start rain..AIkz..Godd news is, the Boss court wrong money that make me save 20 dollar..haha(>.<)i'm a bad customer..haha

ON the way home,i have a quarrel with my mother..not a big fight but just express something but is unwelcome for her..SO..what to do.I do know the consequence,do i? Trouble will find u no matter where you go and who are you..

Trouble, sad event , unwanted thing..all just happen without our imagination and in the field where we or i can control...sometimes, a word of tired might not enough to describe the situation where i need to face..

IF i didn't say anything at that time, now me and my mom wont in argue..I feel quite weird about one thing..There are one philosophy which state that "human life is like a show"..but why i'm the actor of this show didn't see and read the script??and why no one ask for my permission that i want to accepet this movie or not?

Just..thinking about this nonsense thing and hopless thing wont help me find anyway out or make me happy back..isn't?

My mom just now say that the way i use to compare me and my brother is not true.. Erm, somehow i need to admit it..like my bro have to work to my father while i no need..and i'm asking for more every time..The people who ask me to always make a compare between people is no other but my mother..

I still remember when i'm study in primary school, my mother use to compare my result with my friends result..sad case?if only you have do this job from primary until form 5...1 word---stun is the prefect word to describe..I'm living in a world which need to survive by compareing each other..Now , my mom say i'm wrong..no idea what is the word correct that means to her.

Today i should go to swim and exercise with my friends..which i really wish and despareted to go..haha..too bombastik?a bit maybe..><..Anyway the point is i didnt go for 2 reason..the major reason i think i cant write at here since my blog is not private after all..but the 2nd reason is because my mom say i mudah otot kejang, so i'm not allowed to go.

What to do,i'm not enough power to say or demand i want go..SO just now, i say that i didn't go now cause i need a money suppleyer..when i'm done and can earn money i won't listen to those order that sound nonsense for me..i know that a protect me and consern about my safety but isn't that u hae my a sense of thinking and understanding and support my decicion?

My bro have back..this blog is consider not finished..no idea i will continue write or maybe i will just leave it behind..~~~

EVERY BODY PLEASE BE HAPPPY>>HAPPY AND LOUGH AS MUCH AS U CAN..

P/s:DONT ASK FOR MORE KEK KOK WAH....~~

Bonding brain >.<

Today is 29/9/2008..now is 2.38pm.

Today same like yesterday...normal life..wake up at 6.40 am cause have tuisyen and go to MCD to celebrate one of my friends birthday----->Cheah Pei Seen..

Somehow today i think i'm in the down mood..why?perhaps something happen that make me think or reconsider many thing..Every ppl know the means of leaving and gathering.. The happiest is the gathering and the sadness is leaving..i'm talking nonsense here..

NOw i listening to one of the AERON MOK song...lyrics like this.:"maybe i should give up then only i can near to u , maybe i didnt see u again then only u will remember me..~~"..This song somehow have describe my feel now...

Now i'm down cause i too stuborn to hold something..let it go might be a good way for me..see far and have new experience...i will not say why i down here cause it doesnt matter and for sure it is not because the girl and me problem...Just,i feel like i'm and will get forget for people around me..

I know i'm just only a guest to the earth,sooner or later i will leave this place.. ash to ash dust to dust..Maybe i hope i have change in this 2 years ,i means the life i study on form 6..actually i dont dare to show my despeated feel in the form 6 friends cause i scared later they will think bukan bukan again..

When something have hapen beyond our control..i dont know,just feel like not safe more?!!But every thing happen with surprices that make our life and world full with happy,sad, or many feel..I'm not dislike it but ..i dont know..i'm confuse..perhaps someone have use confuse ray on me..

Now my brain is stil all "bond" together..the tired feel return...As i of my friends say..sometimes alone is a nice thing..YA,i cant delined it...i love alone but i hate been forget and lonely..lonely feel also came with alone but i cant control to accpet alone only while kick away the lonely..><

Alone~~~i have do some thing by myself...alone!!!stay in home while whole family go out for play , one people go to take a dinner...one people do this do that...if u ask me what is the problem.?i dont know...but if u ask would u like someone join me..the answer will be yes(sometimes)..i'm not looking for a girl friends ..that someone can be make and female but i hope that someone can chat with me..

SOmetimes...i wonder how is my life when i'm old...I have see people about 30~40 years old having lunch alone..somehow, i feel it is weird and lonely..i have imagine that if i day later u have to pass the life like them,how am i turn to?After all , i'm just too afraid too leave behind..sometimes i say i didnt mind.but actually i do mind(sometimes)..dont know my friends have sense so or not?

I have say that i'm prefect lier,i wish that they cant sense it..then i can still be the prefect imej for them...

THat all for todayi think, already 3.03..waa..i use 30 min to finsihed 1 blog..hehe..
I will be happy^^(term and condition:try)

A normal day~~~

Today is 28/9/2008..now is 5.49pm.

Finally my trial exam have over and waiting for the STPM T_T..put aside the sad thing 1st..let see what happy event have happen..Start from today,just finished take bath , wash my car , have make some exercise..but only jump about 500 time..I have gone my energy..too bad.(SAD)

Yesterday me and my friends which is siew ling , yan zheng , man soon , and sze chi went to midvalley to buy present for the birthday boy------>chin fai.hehe..Having a dinner celebration with 14 ppl in cheras-calabria..Although that is not the place i prefer but something have happen because my word so i cant do anything...

Erm,actually..i dont have any mood recently or more accurate is i didn't gain any new philosophy..><...just a normal person being a normal life...not much to say or feel...just my friends yan zheng seems like down...erm, according to the research me and my friends have done on him,the result is he having pressure cause exam and some personnel problem where we cant invistigate and get the answer..haha
Wish that he can faster 'cure' from the pressure..

I think i will going to say how am i look about the birthday boy--->Lee Chin Fai.. or chinny..haha..About him,let me recall back my memory..i think i know or i see him since primary school..start talking or chat is when we 2 also form 6 and in same class..(>.<)According to the information i have is we tuisyen in a same place when we are primary school but i don't remember..hehe..SO bad me..

He is also a clever student in the class...like siew ling and yan zheng..i'm excepter
T_T..He physcal apperance is tall , having hair stye like a 1980 person..cause he just wake up as he give the reason why he hair big..haha..About mentally, i think he is kayu..haha..cause he didnt show his expression that make me quite understand-less about him..

About me and he,erm..i think is the joke that i have make on him..dunno he forgive me already or still angry with me..cause i have a playfull hearth then play he and siew ling together that make me feel guilty and sorry to him...

Once i always play joke on him and started to decrease to 1 power to 0..Cause i think i have really make him mad and always i think i have play over the safety line.
Really nothing to say ..cause..nothing..

Just want to end my blog with a wish that god will bless him to get the good result as he want in the STPM and hope that yan zheng will be ok back.

Time end:6.11.1 pm

PSPS...now is 6.30..suddenly remember something have to write...I DIDNT FALL IN LOVE WITH ANY GIRL NOW!!!!!!I DIDNT AND DONT WANT FALL IN LOVE to anyone..plz..let me go..
You all senser have problem...She is not my cup of tea and i wont have any tea in this life..!!!!forgive me if i say too rude but that how am i feel at that time not now...so..just let me go...walk away..2 month left only...let me feel that all the moment i in form 6 is happy memory not sad..(although many bad thing have appen already also)..><

DAY OF SAD AND DOWN MODE....

Today is 19/9..now is 10.pm.just back from physics tuisyen.

Today,i'm in the down mode..many unwanted and unwishes thing happen..

My car have send to shop to repair and can get back by 2moro...and need RM450...so expensive...Since my parents didn't scold me but i just don't know why i'm still so down...to act for them to see? HOnestly,i don't know..maybe is and maybe not...But when know that the repair fix is cost Rm450..it almost 1 week of the money the my father earn..

Although i didn't go out to work with my father work as many as my brother do..but i know that my father work is quite a tough work..He need to use energy and etc to earn the money..but i just use 1 week of the money he earn just in 1 repair car work.

SOmemore,i just get my car not more than 1 years and i had make a such huge mistake and destroyed..somehow my heart not forgive myself..just keep blame me..why didn't watch carefull or why didn't take other safe road..WHY???!!!!!

2nd thing that make me in down mode cause 1 of my form 6 friends will leave~~~~..the leave in here means that she going oversea to study...and might not join us for the end years pangkor trip..sad..A feel that all will leave soon and i will leave behind all this..But,i'm happy if she study oversea 2..can be proud for her i guest?

About her,erm...the 1st thing i know is got 4 girl join our class and 3 of them is came from convent..and she is one of them---Lee Siew Ling...My friends tell me that she is so beautiful..haha..at first i didn't see so..(>.<)..and my friends is female. somemore i think she is the ugly in our class that time(sorry a,siew ling,haha)

But with the help of time,after a period of knowing each other..she is a nice person..somemore she is a playfull person although she keep say that se is silent student in converm..now i have so many yellow thing in my head also "help" by her..>.< ..i'm so good in blaming people..Weeee~~~~~

About she..Fall in love to someone clever..and she is so yellow..always look for muscle guys..no idea how she can survive in the convent cause she can't see boy at there..

And she is helpfull for me cause when i still can't drive yet she is the one and part of the person who drive me go to tuisyen , play and "wet"..haha..then when i have my car is my pay back time to her...>.<..She gave me the same feeling with YAn zheng..funny, cherrup the class , be the one to let us gossip..haha..and she is the one i didn't see her angry before..

Wish that she can fly to the place she want to go and have her dream husband in the future...wish that she will tell me when is her flight..i want go to see her cry..haha.( i think i will cry 2..so, siew ling if u see this blog ,tell me when is u flight then we can cry together in the airplane....can feel and imagine what will happen after u leave..but..old word,human will change..we will and need to meet out faith..)

KEK KOK WAH>.<..u also be happy back soon ba^^

BAD DAY!!!STORM???

Today is 18/9...finished my physics paper 2..aikz..no matter how night am i study..the question stil i cant get the correct..no in the correct orientation..><

Today start with curious..cause after the salah faham and the aplogy..then is the 1st day to see my frends react...erm,.i think he seems like abit different at 1st..i means when we at the hall.he not so talkactive compare to last time..maybe not enough sleep cause have to study physics...

Then when in the class.aikz,can't express..cause the classroom is so silent..perhaps all wish to do the best shot fot the physics..Anyway,he can say got talk after toilet trip i guest..maybe now for me is a sensitive time..so he and other reaction will be ..how to say?ya..connected..But..wish he can be really happy and show the smile(evil or angel as soon as possible).

Me and my friends decided to go eat sup pedas at SG.CHUA cause there are not enough space to eat at ABC..then, my bad luck is start..i have a car crash..>< KANASAI...all because i'm skilless and the taxi fault..how can he/she park his/her taxi in there..!!!!that's not a place to park..anyway,that is malaysia driver culture and tradition..

Then i have to surrender to my parents..call my mom and be a mangsa in this tragetic(and i'm really a mangsa)..but the total price to fix back my door is 450..somemore cause myvi steel is bad quality..if it need use mangkat on in..then after a period of time it will show black dot..so hurt!!!!!!then i ask my parents how much it cost for a new door..haha..maybe i can change new door if it is not expensive..

But now..damn down e..!!!no energy to study i guest..(lazy..hehe)..just wish it can faster "walk" away..T_T..

Already 9.30pm..i guest i need study and stop...wish my spirit back~~~~~~~