Today is 14/12/2008...3.26pm.
Today i'm really alone in my house..cause my parents have go to play with their friends early this morning...good news for me and for my parents..
Already back from pangkor trip for 3 day.I guess my feel wasn't that down as i feel that day...but it doesn't means i don't miss anymore..just like all people say..save it in the heart..><
Still looking for job now..wish can heard good news from chin fai but also scared for the job he can get for me cause is about computer and software...i'm noob to it..but.wish i can get job cause now is desperate to get job and money..><
Just now chatting with my friend who is study at Canada----->Tan Hyui Sxin..haha.. recently keep see her online..maybe now she is darn free cause her final exam is going to finished...
In the talk we have discuss about people attitude..hmm..maybe i should start like this..i think i'm too stick to someone..then i have ask some opinion about it..She tell me if someone is too stick to her .she might feel not comfortable and try to avoid from the people that stick with her..
For that moment..i think i'm in trouble.cause i think i'm too stick too someone.. Like she say.....although my heart might want to be friends with the one i care but i doesn't or i shouldn't make the other feel uncomfortable and vomit feel..
I have realize my problem once and maybe that time i'm pretend to be half blind person to the problem..but today and just now.i have make myself a conclusion...I need to be or set a distance i guess is the correct word to the one i stick too much..
Maybe i have really make him feel bad or like my friends say..vomit feel that he didn't tell me or how to me,..in other word..don't want to hurt me..So, i think i know what should i do and what shouldn't i do ..haha..
i write down just want to remind me .. to make me not to forget the thing i have say to myself..ME..scared bother people and scared people will angry and avoid from me but in fact what i do might or already make him feel sick toward me..
All is clear now and i think i have found a guide line...be happy kok wah.^^it is also for you own good..haha..^^..
P/S:for those who are prepare to enjoy dinner with me but i reject i feel so much sorry and only sorry is the word i want to say to you all..like i say just now..i sacred what have i say and do is bothering you all so for my view i think you all should be with yours parents..just that;s all..SORRY..
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
"FAMILY" trip..~.~
Today is 12/12/2008..time now is 9.57 at the morning...everything seems already have to be the "past tense"...but my feel is still the same as yesterday night...perhaps it will be better later or in the future..Here is something i have write in a paper because i cant sleep by keep thinking about it and i don't want to lost the feel and my memory when wake up 2moro..
Today is 11/12/2008..now is 11.59p,...Now i feel like i am in the pening laut situation====pening.~.~There are 1 word to describe my felling now------>confuse..haha ..sound weird..><
I still remember the process. the sweet memory, the funny moment, the desperated situation and etc. Me and my friends have gather in the Kajang Bus Station before go to Pudu..i have to wake up at 4.30 in the morning cause need to reach the bus station before 6 am...T have to say very thank you to Siew ling because fetch me(aligator.^^). But we have 1 "VIP" in our group===>Lee Chin Fai..haha..He reach the bus station at 6.15...but it doesn't matter cause all the thing is still follow the schedule..
We reach the Pudu bus station and meet the friends which live in Cheras and already waiting us at a nearby KFC...Total people 15..boy team:me , Yan Zheng,Chin Fai , Man Soon , Kee Sheng , Ah Teoh , MIng Han and Xiau Sa..girl team: Siew ling, Sze Chi , Ling Shi , Kah Wei(sifu) , Yoke Xin (sipak) , Mei Yan and Pei Seen..On the journey to the Pangkor perlabuhan...my friends have enjoy them by "gamble" and sleep..some of the friends have decided to take those funny sleeping pose..haha..and i enjoy the 4 hrs trip by listen to music and enjoy the view outside the window.. .i'm so happy that i sit in bus cause it such a long time i didn't use the bus already..
Once reach the Pangkor, we go to the Coral Bar...2 apartment for 15 people of us..
Overall, our Pangkor trip is full with the event that playing water , walk at the beach , feel the softness of the sand , the smell of the sea , the force of the winf , and many many else..and the important event is the "cor dai di" time for boy when have free time and the shopping hours for the girl~.~
Those girl are crazy for shopping..><..They can shopping in a same shop for 4 time and above...mad already they(they will kill me later...)But that is the "kung FU" of the girl inherit with which i or much of the male people cant learn that prefect..The 1st thing all guys do is swim in the sea and sand ball to throw the innosence guys like me...but i'm the one who keep their wallet and their "harta"..DONT TRY TO PLAY WITH ME....HOHOHOHHOH
The other thing will be i finally have touch the sea...Is is my 1st time to "swim" in the sea..and the water is so so so so "SIEN"... The poor thing is i get "bully" by the boy and girl..T.T..I think i will drown for one moment but lucky that i'm still survive and typing the blog now and here....haha
The 3 day 2 night trip at Pangkor ...I think i'm the most troublesome people..why?.I can easily lost my wallet , sandals , and my mobile phone..until a level where i'm not dare to keep the door key in my bag..><
The 1st day at night...i have a long night talk with Yan Zheng...cause that day at night...we all 14 people(beside xiau sa cause he need to sleep)have gather and talk ghost story...that make the girl afraid and have 3 boys decided to "protect" them by sleep at their room...but i don't know how much it work but for sure is Ah Teoh have turn to become their "father" after that night...and me and Yan Zheng have spend 2 hrs and 30 minute to talking session..
Then the 2nd day night ..we all decided to rent bicycle and take a "walk" in the Pangkor..An i have do a wrong thing by express my word with more rough feel..It make me feel bad cause i should be enjoy the process..~~~After the bicycle..we all have buy 4 bottle of beer and head to the beach that what have also done in the 1st night at Pangkor...Drinking the Beer and enjoy the song sing by all and the guitar-man----->JAY YAP(YAP MING HAN)...hohohoh.it is a sweet moment...All people sound enjoying the moment and then me and some friends "sleep" in the sand and enjoy the moon light..For a period of time me and kah wei (my sifu)..sleep at yan zheng body to enjoy and feel funny..haha.
1 amazing thing is ..when we back from cycling..the pedal of the yan Zheng bike have have broke and he have to run back for a far distant and and taking his bike as well.How well done is his "cell of sukan" in his body.~.~..then at 12 am..when back to the apartment and all gather in the girl room..playing card game and punish the loser..~.~..Yan Zheng is poor guys which like the only 1 guys get punish..of course me also kena .T.T.but is sound terrible for Yan Zheng ..seems like he want to get punish purposly. Are you,Yan Zheng? ...
Now my feel is more to sad and sleepy.. The happy moment have came to the end or more exactly is our trip and the friendship is started decrease..Although some have say FRIENDS FOREVER...i know what it means , how it work , and the % of success....like the Brighton have say in the Nanny show before..:"of course you will remember us for a while..after u have have u own children.You will start to decrease to see us and at last you will forget about us."..What the Brighton say is equal as what i think..Now or today..we might dare to say that we are friends forever...but the time and years came and go..are we still able to say the same thing like today?are will still remember each other?are we?
Although some play a joke that they will go to my house and "pon" me for fun...It sound funny and happy for me..but ,the feel is different ..the fell that we study at the school every day..and the feel we like just looking and pass away...it make me feel sad, forgotten , and like a puzzle lost a piece to finished it...It just something that it wouldn't as good as it was...
The 3day 2 night at Pangkor is nice and cool for me..With the Happy force and unexpected event..Now i can't sleep..Back to a room where i sleep ...it feel a bit lost..no more yellow light on the wall...no more people beside me to sleep ....It is what call as LIFE.i need to deal with it , understand it..I think i can suite myself again in this room again sooner or later but.i don't and can't accept the way i need to deal with it..KEK KOK WAH...WAKE UP AAA!!!!!YOU ARE NO LONGER A CHILDREN!!!!!..no more~~~~
Maybe it is due to it is the 1st time i have a trip with my friends with overnight..i need to grow up..no need to accept myself but make sure i live in the old type life style as soon as possible..don't stuck in the pass..
I don't know what to say more..Don't exactly what should i think..I remember at the KFC just now for dinner...Honestly, i really feel like going to break at that moment..i can feel my tears already arounf the corner to fall down..just that nearly but i managed to avoid it and don't want to let people see i'm that weak,,
Although for some part..this trip wasn't as i expected(cause my mission have fail..)but it is happy event..It always live in my memory, my computer, my blog..Just wish i wouldn't forget those event and memory...The 1 and 1/2 years of form 6 life have finally came to the end...i wish i can stay back at that time with them ...changing myself at lower 6 with more involve with them.but..back to the word..GROW and be mature now..
What a release after write down all the thing down...brain is so empty and enable myself to sleep better later..I'm now so much relutant to let me and my friends "go"..to become a pass tense not the future or present tense...But , it is something beyond what i can do or what i can try to do.This trip is full with memory...the voice and laughter we have make in the ship...the "knock" of my head to the van taxi..For me, it is more likely a family rather a end years school trip...REALLY!!.maybe cause it is my 1st time experience and there are some people i really wish will not get forgot by them (not girl and boy those love feel).It is 1st time i feel like the form 6 i study is like a big community rather than many group ..of course there are some people that i didn't familiar with..but..is is more likely a big , huge family...(and i want be small brother so can avoid doing heavy job..haha..)..
It feel so bad and sad cause need to leave them with a simple bye bye..feel so..relunctant ..It broke my heart and make me want to cry again now...but as i say..it is life..i need to grow and deal with it..learn to be grow and move on...GAMBATEH and WISH ALL THE BEST AND GOOD LUCK TO THE BEST FAMILY I HAVE EVER , NEVER HAVE BEFORE..
This is how i feel last night...what i have write in paper to make my self empty and sleepy...tonight i need to fight to sleep lonely and the worst case is this Sunday cause my family go out play and i'm the only one in the house...No idea At night that day m i will be able to close my eyes or not..brainless..
Just now i go out with my mom for bank thing ...just thin back the lost of the people...my tears is pop out but it doesn't come out..thanks to the air-cond in the car by freeze my tears..haha...And i realize it is easy to be past and future tense but it is darn hard to be present tense..much more harder.like 1 compare to 1 million..
My life will not end today...i need to move and walk more..Wish i can have the friends like yesterday i have in the present day...AND i want to say..I THINK I REALLY FALL IN LOVE TO ALL OF YOU..NOT THAT BOY AND GIRL LOVE .BUT AS A FRIENDS AND THE HAPPY AND SWEET MOMENT WE HAVE EXPERIENCE AT THE PAST TIME..IT FEEL MUCH MORE HARD TO SAY BYE BYE TO ALL OF YOU..BUT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE READ MY BLOG...THANKS FOR WELCOME ME BE APART OF U LIFE BEFORE...THANKS Q(tears finally pop out..haha..)
Today is 11/12/2008..now is 11.59p,...Now i feel like i am in the pening laut situation====pening.~.~There are 1 word to describe my felling now------>confuse..haha ..sound weird..><
I still remember the process. the sweet memory, the funny moment, the desperated situation and etc. Me and my friends have gather in the Kajang Bus Station before go to Pudu..i have to wake up at 4.30 in the morning cause need to reach the bus station before 6 am...T have to say very thank you to Siew ling because fetch me(aligator.^^). But we have 1 "VIP" in our group===>Lee Chin Fai..haha..He reach the bus station at 6.15...but it doesn't matter cause all the thing is still follow the schedule..
We reach the Pudu bus station and meet the friends which live in Cheras and already waiting us at a nearby KFC...Total people 15..boy team:me , Yan Zheng,Chin Fai , Man Soon , Kee Sheng , Ah Teoh , MIng Han and Xiau Sa..girl team: Siew ling, Sze Chi , Ling Shi , Kah Wei(sifu) , Yoke Xin (sipak) , Mei Yan and Pei Seen..On the journey to the Pangkor perlabuhan...my friends have enjoy them by "gamble" and sleep..some of the friends have decided to take those funny sleeping pose..haha..and i enjoy the 4 hrs trip by listen to music and enjoy the view outside the window.. .i'm so happy that i sit in bus cause it such a long time i didn't use the bus already..
Once reach the Pangkor, we go to the Coral Bar...2 apartment for 15 people of us..
Overall, our Pangkor trip is full with the event that playing water , walk at the beach , feel the softness of the sand , the smell of the sea , the force of the winf , and many many else..and the important event is the "cor dai di" time for boy when have free time and the shopping hours for the girl~.~
Those girl are crazy for shopping..><..They can shopping in a same shop for 4 time and above...mad already they(they will kill me later...)But that is the "kung FU" of the girl inherit with which i or much of the male people cant learn that prefect..The 1st thing all guys do is swim in the sea and sand ball to throw the innosence guys like me...but i'm the one who keep their wallet and their "harta"..DONT TRY TO PLAY WITH ME....HOHOHOHHOH
The other thing will be i finally have touch the sea...Is is my 1st time to "swim" in the sea..and the water is so so so so "SIEN"... The poor thing is i get "bully" by the boy and girl..T.T..I think i will drown for one moment but lucky that i'm still survive and typing the blog now and here....haha
The 3 day 2 night trip at Pangkor ...I think i'm the most troublesome people..why?.I can easily lost my wallet , sandals , and my mobile phone..until a level where i'm not dare to keep the door key in my bag..>
The 1st day at night...i have a long night talk with Yan Zheng...cause that day at night...we all 14 people(beside xiau sa cause he need to sleep)have gather and talk ghost story...that make the girl afraid and have 3 boys decided to "protect" them by sleep at their room...but i don't know how much it work but for sure is Ah Teoh have turn to become their "father" after that night...and me and Yan Zheng have spend 2 hrs and 30 minute to talking session..
Then the 2nd day night ..we all decided to rent bicycle and take a "walk" in the Pangkor..An i have do a wrong thing by express my word with more rough feel..It make me feel bad cause i should be enjoy the process..~~~After the bicycle..we all have buy 4 bottle of beer and head to the beach that what have also done in the 1st night at Pangkor...Drinking the Beer and enjoy the song sing by all and the guitar-man----->JAY YAP(YAP MING HAN)...hohohoh.it is a sweet moment...All people sound enjoying the moment and then me and some friends "sleep" in the sand and enjoy the moon light..For a period of time me and kah wei (my sifu)..sleep at yan zheng body to enjoy and feel funny..haha.
1 amazing thing is ..when we back from cycling..the pedal of the yan Zheng bike have have broke and he have to run back for a far distant and and taking his bike as well.How well done is his "cell of sukan" in his body.~.~..then at 12 am..when back to the apartment and all gather in the girl room..playing card game and punish the loser..~.~..Yan Zheng is poor guys which like the only 1 guys get punish..of course me also kena .T.T.but is sound terrible for Yan Zheng ..seems like he want to get punish purposly. Are you,Yan Zheng? ...
Now my feel is more to sad and sleepy.. The happy moment have came to the end or more exactly is our trip and the friendship is started decrease..Although some have say FRIENDS FOREVER...i know what it means , how it work , and the % of success....like the Brighton have say in the Nanny show before..:"of course you will remember us for a while..after u have have u own children.You will start to decrease to see us and at last you will forget about us."..What the Brighton say is equal as what i think..Now or today..we might dare to say that we are friends forever...but the time and years came and go..are we still able to say the same thing like today?are will still remember each other?are we?
Although some play a joke that they will go to my house and "pon" me for fun...It sound funny and happy for me..but ,the feel is different ..the fell that we study at the school every day..and the feel we like just looking and pass away...it make me feel sad, forgotten , and like a puzzle lost a piece to finished it...It just something that it wouldn't as good as it was...
The 3day 2 night at Pangkor is nice and cool for me..With the Happy force and unexpected event..Now i can't sleep..Back to a room where i sleep ...it feel a bit lost..no more yellow light on the wall...no more people beside me to sleep ....It is what call as LIFE.i need to deal with it , understand it..I think i can suite myself again in this room again sooner or later but.i don't and can't accept the way i need to deal with it..KEK KOK WAH...WAKE UP AAA!!!!!YOU ARE NO LONGER A CHILDREN!!!!!..no more~~~~
Maybe it is due to it is the 1st time i have a trip with my friends with overnight..i need to grow up..no need to accept myself but make sure i live in the old type life style as soon as possible..don't stuck in the pass..
I don't know what to say more..Don't exactly what should i think..I remember at the KFC just now for dinner...Honestly, i really feel like going to break at that moment..i can feel my tears already arounf the corner to fall down..just that nearly but i managed to avoid it and don't want to let people see i'm that weak,,
Although for some part..this trip wasn't as i expected(cause my mission have fail..)but it is happy event..It always live in my memory, my computer, my blog..Just wish i wouldn't forget those event and memory...The 1 and 1/2 years of form 6 life have finally came to the end...i wish i can stay back at that time with them ...changing myself at lower 6 with more involve with them.but..back to the word..GROW and be mature now..
What a release after write down all the thing down...brain is so empty and enable myself to sleep better later..I'm now so much relutant to let me and my friends "go"..to become a pass tense not the future or present tense...But , it is something beyond what i can do or what i can try to do.This trip is full with memory...the voice and laughter we have make in the ship...the "knock" of my head to the van taxi..For me, it is more likely a family rather a end years school trip...REALLY!!.maybe cause it is my 1st time experience and there are some people i really wish will not get forgot by them (not girl and boy those love feel).It is 1st time i feel like the form 6 i study is like a big community rather than many group ..of course there are some people that i didn't familiar with..but..is is more likely a big , huge family...(and i want be small brother so can avoid doing heavy job..haha..)..
It feel so bad and sad cause need to leave them with a simple bye bye..feel so..relunctant ..It broke my heart and make me want to cry again now...but as i say..it is life..i need to grow and deal with it..learn to be grow and move on...GAMBATEH and WISH ALL THE BEST AND GOOD LUCK TO THE BEST FAMILY I HAVE EVER , NEVER HAVE BEFORE..
This is how i feel last night...what i have write in paper to make my self empty and sleepy...tonight i need to fight to sleep lonely and the worst case is this Sunday cause my family go out play and i'm the only one in the house...No idea At night that day m i will be able to close my eyes or not..brainless..
Just now i go out with my mom for bank thing ...just thin back the lost of the people...my tears is pop out but it doesn't come out..thanks to the air-cond in the car by freeze my tears..haha...And i realize it is easy to be past and future tense but it is darn hard to be present tense..much more harder.like 1 compare to 1 million..
My life will not end today...i need to move and walk more..Wish i can have the friends like yesterday i have in the present day...AND i want to say..I THINK I REALLY FALL IN LOVE TO ALL OF YOU..NOT THAT BOY AND GIRL LOVE .BUT AS A FRIENDS AND THE HAPPY AND SWEET MOMENT WE HAVE EXPERIENCE AT THE PAST TIME..IT FEEL MUCH MORE HARD TO SAY BYE BYE TO ALL OF YOU..BUT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE READ MY BLOG...THANKS FOR WELCOME ME BE APART OF U LIFE BEFORE...THANKS Q(tears finally pop out..haha..)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
everything but seems nothing...
Today is 5/12/2008....my STPM have finished yesterday...
At the beginning.i want to write about my STPM process...but.it seems bored for me and either..it is not a good memory ...so..haha..forget about STPM thing..~.~
Yesterday night..once after STPM...me and my friends go out to celebrate..and watch a movie call "twilight"...not too bad...but since it is love story..i think if i read the book will be better..haha...some more ...me and fion and jay yap make 'noise' at the cinema...so bad me..><..disturb other people~.~
About the movie...erm...the main character...i means the boy..wahaha..so handsome..just curious..why western people have big eyes ball..while eastern people is so small...furthermore..small eyes ball can cause high risk in having ill...~.~..
All is now back to the starting point again..as i imagine or i think..>
I'm feel a bit lost...Dunno why...somehow i think maybe it is cause by the movie yesterday..my brain is recall and recall the movie~.~..Don't know why or maybe is afraid to know the reason..><...(nonsense -me)...But...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAa.whatever.. Time can cure me..hohoho.><
Now is time to think which job i have to do and which course i'm going to study already~.~...just so hate to make a choice that can change my world...or scared to make a move...(T.T)...
Actually..i have many or some to write..but don't know why..just can't write down here or now..haha..want to take a break...so..today is until here ba...have to search my soul back...(-swt)
At the beginning.i want to write about my STPM process...but.it seems bored for me and either..it is not a good memory ...so..haha..forget about STPM thing..~.~
Yesterday night..once after STPM...me and my friends go out to celebrate..and watch a movie call "twilight"...not too bad...but since it is love story..i think if i read the book will be better..haha...some more ...me and fion and jay yap make 'noise' at the cinema...so bad me..><..disturb other people~.~
About the movie...erm...the main character...i means the boy..wahaha..so handsome..just curious..why western people have big eyes ball..while eastern people is so small...furthermore..small eyes ball can cause high risk in having ill...~.~..
All is now back to the starting point again..as i imagine or i think..>
I'm feel a bit lost...Dunno why...somehow i think maybe it is cause by the movie yesterday..my brain is recall and recall the movie~.~..Don't know why or maybe is afraid to know the reason..><...(nonsense -me)...But...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAa.whatever.. Time can cure me..hohoho.><
Now is time to think which job i have to do and which course i'm going to study already~.~...just so hate to make a choice that can change my world...or scared to make a move...(T.T)...
Actually..i have many or some to write..but don't know why..just can't write down here or now..haha..want to take a break...so..today is until here ba...have to search my soul back...(-swt)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
ALL on the edge..
Today is 1/11/2008...16 day more is my 1st day to sit for the STPM...Really shouldn't open computer but...now i'm lost my feel to study..So i take a chance to leave the study table and write blog then take a bath and study back..
All is going to the end but not my life(maybe)...Yesterday is my last time and day tuisyen at MR.POON....No more chance to heard he voice..good news?or bad?seems i'm so wanted to leave the room when tuisyen but now feel a bit lost and gone..
Friends all is doing the final "attack"..."fight until die" i think...STPM is a killer thing..kill people slowly but surely....yesterday i have a dream that i didn't take calculator for the exam..and...just wish it wont happen in the reality world..GOD PLEASE TAKE CARE ME..PLEASE~~~~
Sometimes i do recall my memory for my form 6 life...sweet, sour, spicy, and etc feel will show..haha..(did i really taste all?><)...Human shouldn't look backward..we have always believe there are a great future in front of us..but..
Nevermind...i will get use to it or i already prepare myself to face the situation..just wish it won't get worst than i though..
All will go to the good side...although sometimes it might hurt or sadness for me...i won't think of make a change or wish for something impossible...JUST believe all will be good...( i think u all won't understand what is the point i writing this blog..cause either me dunno.><)
Next Wednesday is the graduation day....KEK,don't think too much...kambateh ba..><(crazy already me^^.)
For form 6 friends:GAMBATEH AND DO THE BEST^^)
All is going to the end but not my life(maybe)...Yesterday is my last time and day tuisyen at MR.POON....No more chance to heard he voice..good news?or bad?seems i'm so wanted to leave the room when tuisyen but now feel a bit lost and gone..
Friends all is doing the final "attack"..."fight until die" i think...STPM is a killer thing..kill people slowly but surely....yesterday i have a dream that i didn't take calculator for the exam..and...just wish it wont happen in the reality world..GOD PLEASE TAKE CARE ME..PLEASE~~~~
Sometimes i do recall my memory for my form 6 life...sweet, sour, spicy, and etc feel will show..haha..(did i really taste all?><)...Human shouldn't look backward..we have always believe there are a great future in front of us..but..
Nevermind...i will get use to it or i already prepare myself to face the situation..just wish it won't get worst than i though..
All will go to the good side...although sometimes it might hurt or sadness for me...i won't think of make a change or wish for something impossible...JUST believe all will be good...( i think u all won't understand what is the point i writing this blog..cause either me dunno.><)
Next Wednesday is the graduation day....KEK,don't think too much...kambateh ba..><(crazy already me^^.)
For form 6 friends:GAMBATEH AND DO THE BEST^^)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
NOthing special~~~~
Today is 22/10/2208...more and more close to STPM..good signal or bad signal?><..
Skipping school seems to me a trend to me and my friends..What a good student we are..!!!!HAHA....
Such a long time did'nt blog already..then decided to online and blog then leave..^^.. So far so bad...my result is not good but got improve..just not enough,,either still have a long journey to go.. T_T..
Anything happen recently?..erm,still same perhaps..study and the time walk away..~~~~
Now really nothing to say and think...cause i have ask my brain to blok and prevent from thinking nonsense thing....must memorize all the formula and those reaction..aikz..such a poor life..haha..
This few day i have ask my friends what will make them to choose the course they will study in university or future...is because the interested or the salary?..so far..all give the answer is interested..and my answer is salary..haha.$$$$$$ is power and nothing but everything..><
The reason i choose salary cause i think interest can "dipupuk"..therefore i think salary is the major reason i will consider when i can study in the university..
Ia getting near and near to the graduation day..more near than the STPM date..nonsense..^^..Now it is really the very last minute and hours left for me and see my friends often and easy??haha..All will back to initial when the time reach..that what i sense..i think , ...
Although i will feel bad and unsafe (perhaps)..but it is the rule of living..me just have to deal with it..tears might flow in the heart but wont let it out from eyes... Cause ..haha..just don't want to destroyed my image^^..
Already 12.22pm..got to study already...wish me and all my friends all the best^^
P/S:sek cheng friends..Sure i didn't forget u^^haha..gambateh 1st..now cant find u to chat><
Skipping school seems to me a trend to me and my friends..What a good student we are..!!!!HAHA....
Such a long time did'nt blog already..then decided to online and blog then leave..^^.. So far so bad...my result is not good but got improve..just not enough,,either still have a long journey to go.. T_T..
Anything happen recently?..erm,still same perhaps..study and the time walk away..~~~~
Now really nothing to say and think...cause i have ask my brain to blok and prevent from thinking nonsense thing....must memorize all the formula and those reaction..aikz..such a poor life..haha..
This few day i have ask my friends what will make them to choose the course they will study in university or future...is because the interested or the salary?..so far..all give the answer is interested..and my answer is salary..haha.$$$$$$ is power and nothing but everything..><
The reason i choose salary cause i think interest can "dipupuk"..therefore i think salary is the major reason i will consider when i can study in the university..
Ia getting near and near to the graduation day..more near than the STPM date..nonsense..^^..Now it is really the very last minute and hours left for me and see my friends often and easy??haha..All will back to initial when the time reach..that what i sense..i think , ...
Although i will feel bad and unsafe (perhaps)..but it is the rule of living..me just have to deal with it..tears might flow in the heart but wont let it out from eyes... Cause ..haha..just don't want to destroyed my image^^..
Already 12.22pm..got to study already...wish me and all my friends all the best^^
P/S:sek cheng friends..Sure i didn't forget u^^haha..gambateh 1st..now cant find u to chat><
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Hari RAya..
Today is 1/10/08...a new month for me and getting near and near to STPM..One more thing is HAppy Hari Raya to all malay..(although i'm prejedis to some malay,but only some><)
Today i have a dinner with my mom and brother at cow boy..Finally have fullfill my appetiecte for eat stik..But it have happen good thing and bad thing..The bad thing is when we eat almost finished , suddenly it start rain..AIkz..Godd news is, the Boss court wrong money that make me save 20 dollar..haha(>.<)i'm a bad customer..haha
ON the way home,i have a quarrel with my mother..not a big fight but just express something but is unwelcome for her..SO..what to do.I do know the consequence,do i? Trouble will find u no matter where you go and who are you..
Trouble, sad event , unwanted thing..all just happen without our imagination and in the field where we or i can control...sometimes, a word of tired might not enough to describe the situation where i need to face..
IF i didn't say anything at that time, now me and my mom wont in argue..I feel quite weird about one thing..There are one philosophy which state that "human life is like a show"..but why i'm the actor of this show didn't see and read the script??and why no one ask for my permission that i want to accepet this movie or not?
Just..thinking about this nonsense thing and hopless thing wont help me find anyway out or make me happy back..isn't?
My mom just now say that the way i use to compare me and my brother is not true.. Erm, somehow i need to admit it..like my bro have to work to my father while i no need..and i'm asking for more every time..The people who ask me to always make a compare between people is no other but my mother..
I still remember when i'm study in primary school, my mother use to compare my result with my friends result..sad case?if only you have do this job from primary until form 5...1 word---stun is the prefect word to describe..I'm living in a world which need to survive by compareing each other..Now , my mom say i'm wrong..no idea what is the word correct that means to her.
Today i should go to swim and exercise with my friends..which i really wish and despareted to go..haha..too bombastik?a bit maybe..><..Anyway the point is i didnt go for 2 reason..the major reason i think i cant write at here since my blog is not private after all..but the 2nd reason is because my mom say i mudah otot kejang, so i'm not allowed to go.
What to do,i'm not enough power to say or demand i want go..SO just now, i say that i didn't go now cause i need a money suppleyer..when i'm done and can earn money i won't listen to those order that sound nonsense for me..i know that a protect me and consern about my safety but isn't that u hae my a sense of thinking and understanding and support my decicion?
My bro have back..this blog is consider not finished..no idea i will continue write or maybe i will just leave it behind..~~~
EVERY BODY PLEASE BE HAPPPY>>HAPPY AND LOUGH AS MUCH AS U CAN..
P/s:DONT ASK FOR MORE KEK KOK WAH....~~
Today i have a dinner with my mom and brother at cow boy..Finally have fullfill my appetiecte for eat stik..But it have happen good thing and bad thing..The bad thing is when we eat almost finished , suddenly it start rain..AIkz..Godd news is, the Boss court wrong money that make me save 20 dollar..haha(>.<)i'm a bad customer..haha
ON the way home,i have a quarrel with my mother..not a big fight but just express something but is unwelcome for her..SO..what to do.I do know the consequence,do i? Trouble will find u no matter where you go and who are you..
Trouble, sad event , unwanted thing..all just happen without our imagination and in the field where we or i can control...sometimes, a word of tired might not enough to describe the situation where i need to face..
IF i didn't say anything at that time, now me and my mom wont in argue..I feel quite weird about one thing..There are one philosophy which state that "human life is like a show"..but why i'm the actor of this show didn't see and read the script??and why no one ask for my permission that i want to accepet this movie or not?
Just..thinking about this nonsense thing and hopless thing wont help me find anyway out or make me happy back..isn't?
My mom just now say that the way i use to compare me and my brother is not true.. Erm, somehow i need to admit it..like my bro have to work to my father while i no need..and i'm asking for more every time..The people who ask me to always make a compare between people is no other but my mother..
I still remember when i'm study in primary school, my mother use to compare my result with my friends result..sad case?if only you have do this job from primary until form 5...1 word---stun is the prefect word to describe..I'm living in a world which need to survive by compareing each other..Now , my mom say i'm wrong..no idea what is the word correct that means to her.
Today i should go to swim and exercise with my friends..which i really wish and despareted to go..haha..too bombastik?a bit maybe..><..Anyway the point is i didnt go for 2 reason..the major reason i think i cant write at here since my blog is not private after all..but the 2nd reason is because my mom say i mudah otot kejang, so i'm not allowed to go.
What to do,i'm not enough power to say or demand i want go..SO just now, i say that i didn't go now cause i need a money suppleyer..when i'm done and can earn money i won't listen to those order that sound nonsense for me..i know that a protect me and consern about my safety but isn't that u hae my a sense of thinking and understanding and support my decicion?
My bro have back..this blog is consider not finished..no idea i will continue write or maybe i will just leave it behind..~~~
EVERY BODY PLEASE BE HAPPPY>>HAPPY AND LOUGH AS MUCH AS U CAN..
P/s:DONT ASK FOR MORE KEK KOK WAH....~~
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Bonding brain >.<
Today is 29/9/2008..now is 2.38pm.
Today same like yesterday...normal life..wake up at 6.40 am cause have tuisyen and go to MCD to celebrate one of my friends birthday----->Cheah Pei Seen..
Somehow today i think i'm in the down mood..why?perhaps something happen that make me think or reconsider many thing..Every ppl know the means of leaving and gathering.. The happiest is the gathering and the sadness is leaving..i'm talking nonsense here..
NOw i listening to one of the AERON MOK song...lyrics like this.:"maybe i should give up then only i can near to u , maybe i didnt see u again then only u will remember me..~~"..This song somehow have describe my feel now...
Now i'm down cause i too stuborn to hold something..let it go might be a good way for me..see far and have new experience...i will not say why i down here cause it doesnt matter and for sure it is not because the girl and me problem...Just,i feel like i'm and will get forget for people around me..
I know i'm just only a guest to the earth,sooner or later i will leave this place.. ash to ash dust to dust..Maybe i hope i have change in this 2 years ,i means the life i study on form 6..actually i dont dare to show my despeated feel in the form 6 friends cause i scared later they will think bukan bukan again..
When something have hapen beyond our control..i dont know,just feel like not safe more?!!But every thing happen with surprices that make our life and world full with happy,sad, or many feel..I'm not dislike it but ..i dont know..i'm confuse..perhaps someone have use confuse ray on me..
Now my brain is stil all "bond" together..the tired feel return...As i of my friends say..sometimes alone is a nice thing..YA,i cant delined it...i love alone but i hate been forget and lonely..lonely feel also came with alone but i cant control to accpet alone only while kick away the lonely..><
Alone~~~i have do some thing by myself...alone!!!stay in home while whole family go out for play , one people go to take a dinner...one people do this do that...if u ask me what is the problem.?i dont know...but if u ask would u like someone join me..the answer will be yes(sometimes)..i'm not looking for a girl friends ..that someone can be make and female but i hope that someone can chat with me..
SOmetimes...i wonder how is my life when i'm old...I have see people about 30~40 years old having lunch alone..somehow, i feel it is weird and lonely..i have imagine that if i day later u have to pass the life like them,how am i turn to?After all , i'm just too afraid too leave behind..sometimes i say i didnt mind.but actually i do mind(sometimes)..dont know my friends have sense so or not?
I have say that i'm prefect lier,i wish that they cant sense it..then i can still be the prefect imej for them...
THat all for todayi think, already 3.03..waa..i use 30 min to finsihed 1 blog..hehe..
I will be happy^^(term and condition:try)
Today same like yesterday...normal life..wake up at 6.40 am cause have tuisyen and go to MCD to celebrate one of my friends birthday----->Cheah Pei Seen..
Somehow today i think i'm in the down mood..why?perhaps something happen that make me think or reconsider many thing..Every ppl know the means of leaving and gathering.. The happiest is the gathering and the sadness is leaving..i'm talking nonsense here..
NOw i listening to one of the AERON MOK song...lyrics like this.:"maybe i should give up then only i can near to u , maybe i didnt see u again then only u will remember me..~~"..This song somehow have describe my feel now...
Now i'm down cause i too stuborn to hold something..let it go might be a good way for me..see far and have new experience...i will not say why i down here cause it doesnt matter and for sure it is not because the girl and me problem...Just,i feel like i'm and will get forget for people around me..
I know i'm just only a guest to the earth,sooner or later i will leave this place.. ash to ash dust to dust..Maybe i hope i have change in this 2 years ,i means the life i study on form 6..actually i dont dare to show my despeated feel in the form 6 friends cause i scared later they will think bukan bukan again..
When something have hapen beyond our control..i dont know,just feel like not safe more?!!But every thing happen with surprices that make our life and world full with happy,sad, or many feel..I'm not dislike it but ..i dont know..i'm confuse..perhaps someone have use confuse ray on me..
Now my brain is stil all "bond" together..the tired feel return...As i of my friends say..sometimes alone is a nice thing..YA,i cant delined it...i love alone but i hate been forget and lonely..lonely feel also came with alone but i cant control to accpet alone only while kick away the lonely..><
Alone~~~i have do some thing by myself...alone!!!stay in home while whole family go out for play , one people go to take a dinner...one people do this do that...if u ask me what is the problem.?i dont know...but if u ask would u like someone join me..the answer will be yes(sometimes)..i'm not looking for a girl friends ..that someone can be make and female but i hope that someone can chat with me..
SOmetimes...i wonder how is my life when i'm old...I have see people about 30~40 years old having lunch alone..somehow, i feel it is weird and lonely..i have imagine that if i day later u have to pass the life like them,how am i turn to?After all , i'm just too afraid too leave behind..sometimes i say i didnt mind.but actually i do mind(sometimes)..dont know my friends have sense so or not?
I have say that i'm prefect lier,i wish that they cant sense it..then i can still be the prefect imej for them...
THat all for todayi think, already 3.03..waa..i use 30 min to finsihed 1 blog..hehe..
I will be happy^^(term and condition:try)
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